A Snowy Night in Michigan The Finale!! Enjoy!
Ok, so here is the final piece of my short story. In total the story is just over 3100 words and this is why I broke it out in 4 pieces. This is of course the largest chunk. I would really love some constructive comments as I have been playing around with my other writings and one thing I have is a lot of short story ideas. I hope you enjoyed this and without further comment here we go.
Off to the end of the story.....................
He started to walk toward us now, and what I thought was the maker finally coming to our help Jacob appeared at the door. I stared, I couldn’t believe it he, he wasn’t dead, well yet. He was staggering the wound in his neck so horrific I did not know how he was standing. He hadn’t taken time to put a jacket on, and was instead in his slacks and his brown shirt stained with his own blood being the only thing to protect him from the cold. His eyes where focused and filled with rage as he stumbled forward in the snow a hand holding a piece of flaming firewood. I screamed telling him to go back inside not realizing it would draw attention to him.
The two creatures turned toward him as they heard my scream. She spoke, “See my brother, this is why I tell you not to toy with your food. You where in such a rush you left one still alive and kicking you fool.”
“Shut up sister, I knew what I was doing and I shall finish him now” said her brother. He moved quickly toward Jacob, I again screamed at him to go back inside and close the door. Jacob, my best friend for over 15 years, just shook his head and continued forward. I will never know what drove him forward but as the man got near he began to taunt Jacob.
The beast, the heartless, soulless creature stops in front of Jacob. Jacob stops and swings the log at him slowly missing with each slow swing. “See my sister; this is the joy of letting one live. You get to watch them struggle for their revenge for what has AHHHHHHHHHHHHH” The scream of pure terror and pain it should have shaken me to the core but instead I smiled and nearly screamed myself. Jacob had used what strength he had and slammed the piece of wood into the creatures back as he turned to gloat to his sister. Somehow it penetrated the creatures skin and into his back setting him a blaze.
The woman, her shriek was so horrendous. I can just imagine every animal within earshot running in fear from this terrible shriek. She was at Jacob in seconds and did not hesitate to finish him off with a snap of the neck. She then went over to her burning brother who had collapsed in the snow and put out the rest of the smoldering flames by scooping handfuls of snow over the burning body.
I think back and ask myself why I didn’t run or try and hide some place. However, curiosity got the best of me and I stood and watched the scene in front of me. She actually was saddened by the death of her brother. She spoke to herself asking why he had to be so foolish, saying she had warned him countless times before that his behavior would be his death. I couldn’t believe what happened next as she began to sob. There in the falling snow in the quietness of this beautiful land I stood and watched this creature show a piece of humanity. I slowly began to move toward the cabin, not sure what I’d do but, well I was getting cold.
I was just about to the door and then I heard it a shout that echoed in the wildness. “STOP!”
I froze I did not take another step as I turned and I saw her. The beauty I had seen earlier in the night had disappeared. The voice of angels was gone and had been replaced by such a sound I cannot explain it today.
“My brother is DEAD! You and your party are to blame for this, and I shall have satisfaction.”
I remember shaking in fear I may even have soiled myself at that moment, but as she approached me I somehow found my voice. I recall speaking in such hushed tones as if I was a child caught taking a fresh molasses cookie.
“This, this is”
“What you dare to speak to me after what you have done?"
I tried again a bit louder and more force in my voice.
“You cannot blame us for this. You came to our cabin and choose to use my friends, our guides and me for your dinner and entertainment.”
I couldn’t believe what happened she actually stopped and acted surprised. I thought maybe I had struck a cord with her.
“True, my brother and I did stop here but it was not my intention to toy with you men. My brother (she looks at his corpse) had the plan to toy with you and I had no problem going along as long as our hunger was satisfied. I personally was going to wait for your group to fall asleep and choose one to feed upon and leave.”
I looked at her face and body showing calm and sorrow through it. The beauty of her face returning and my longing to make her happy and protector her returned.
“So, what you are telling me is this slaughter, your brothers death did not have to happen. It is to late now and we are both alone in this wilderness now, and after you kill me you shall have your solitude.”
I could tell this stung her at the time and as I think back over the past centuries I wonder if that was not the wisest of terms to use. However, I said what I did and life has not been the same since. You see I say that because she did bite me she drank her fill but did not take me to the peaceful slumber of death I had expected, no wanted. Instead here I am at a computer typing a start to my story. As for the one turned me she is gone now, no not dead but after 100 years people do separate and I will not forget her as I grew to lover her.
Off to the end of the story.....................
He started to walk toward us now, and what I thought was the maker finally coming to our help Jacob appeared at the door. I stared, I couldn’t believe it he, he wasn’t dead, well yet. He was staggering the wound in his neck so horrific I did not know how he was standing. He hadn’t taken time to put a jacket on, and was instead in his slacks and his brown shirt stained with his own blood being the only thing to protect him from the cold. His eyes where focused and filled with rage as he stumbled forward in the snow a hand holding a piece of flaming firewood. I screamed telling him to go back inside not realizing it would draw attention to him.
The two creatures turned toward him as they heard my scream. She spoke, “See my brother, this is why I tell you not to toy with your food. You where in such a rush you left one still alive and kicking you fool.”
“Shut up sister, I knew what I was doing and I shall finish him now” said her brother. He moved quickly toward Jacob, I again screamed at him to go back inside and close the door. Jacob, my best friend for over 15 years, just shook his head and continued forward. I will never know what drove him forward but as the man got near he began to taunt Jacob.
The beast, the heartless, soulless creature stops in front of Jacob. Jacob stops and swings the log at him slowly missing with each slow swing. “See my sister; this is the joy of letting one live. You get to watch them struggle for their revenge for what has AHHHHHHHHHHHHH” The scream of pure terror and pain it should have shaken me to the core but instead I smiled and nearly screamed myself. Jacob had used what strength he had and slammed the piece of wood into the creatures back as he turned to gloat to his sister. Somehow it penetrated the creatures skin and into his back setting him a blaze.
The woman, her shriek was so horrendous. I can just imagine every animal within earshot running in fear from this terrible shriek. She was at Jacob in seconds and did not hesitate to finish him off with a snap of the neck. She then went over to her burning brother who had collapsed in the snow and put out the rest of the smoldering flames by scooping handfuls of snow over the burning body.
I think back and ask myself why I didn’t run or try and hide some place. However, curiosity got the best of me and I stood and watched the scene in front of me. She actually was saddened by the death of her brother. She spoke to herself asking why he had to be so foolish, saying she had warned him countless times before that his behavior would be his death. I couldn’t believe what happened next as she began to sob. There in the falling snow in the quietness of this beautiful land I stood and watched this creature show a piece of humanity. I slowly began to move toward the cabin, not sure what I’d do but, well I was getting cold.
I was just about to the door and then I heard it a shout that echoed in the wildness. “STOP!”
I froze I did not take another step as I turned and I saw her. The beauty I had seen earlier in the night had disappeared. The voice of angels was gone and had been replaced by such a sound I cannot explain it today.
“My brother is DEAD! You and your party are to blame for this, and I shall have satisfaction.”
I remember shaking in fear I may even have soiled myself at that moment, but as she approached me I somehow found my voice. I recall speaking in such hushed tones as if I was a child caught taking a fresh molasses cookie.
“This, this is”
“What you dare to speak to me after what you have done?"
I tried again a bit louder and more force in my voice.
“You cannot blame us for this. You came to our cabin and choose to use my friends, our guides and me for your dinner and entertainment.”
I couldn’t believe what happened she actually stopped and acted surprised. I thought maybe I had struck a cord with her.
“True, my brother and I did stop here but it was not my intention to toy with you men. My brother (she looks at his corpse) had the plan to toy with you and I had no problem going along as long as our hunger was satisfied. I personally was going to wait for your group to fall asleep and choose one to feed upon and leave.”
I looked at her face and body showing calm and sorrow through it. The beauty of her face returning and my longing to make her happy and protector her returned.
“So, what you are telling me is this slaughter, your brothers death did not have to happen. It is to late now and we are both alone in this wilderness now, and after you kill me you shall have your solitude.”
I could tell this stung her at the time and as I think back over the past centuries I wonder if that was not the wisest of terms to use. However, I said what I did and life has not been the same since. You see I say that because she did bite me she drank her fill but did not take me to the peaceful slumber of death I had expected, no wanted. Instead here I am at a computer typing a start to my story. As for the one turned me she is gone now, no not dead but after 100 years people do separate and I will not forget her as I grew to lover her.
Replies to This Discussion
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Permalink Reply by Carmilla DeLioncourt on -
great story!! i really enjoyed it and hope to hear more from you!
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Permalink Reply by Knightmist on -
Well I've gotten some other short stories I've been playing with. Actually one I need to type on the computer from high school, but a bit concerned on that one. Some terms used in it are not exactly Politically Correct. The stories I'm working on are ghost stories at the moment. A quick plot synopsis is a man falls for a woman he provides a ride home to at the end of his night shift job. Eventually he finds out she isn't real, and then it goes from there.
The one I'm a bit worried on deals with late 1930's early 1940's China. It involves the All American fighter group The Flying Tigers. So there are some terms used to express the Japanese enemy of the time some may not like. I'm curious what do others think. If a story is written in the frame set of a time when such terms where allowed will they forgive it in the story? I'd love some feedback on that.
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Permalink Reply by Emerian Rich on -
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